Handelsman

Cremator 305 is an art installation that I will be doing at Sweat Records on March 5, 2010.

I have been drawing lots of pictures for the past couple of years in order to deal with my feelings of inner turmoil and conflict. You know when life just seems fucking impossible? You try to stay calm and positive but there are demons inside. I have been dealing with these demons and they don’t go away. I have tried everything….but drinking and drugs only makes matters worse…believe me….I dont ever want to sleep under a bridge again…or on a golf course. Sometimes I have to deal with it myself. In my own head…as life spins out of control. This is just an exercise. I am trying my best to keep the PMA, and that is when the miracles happen. That woman that I have a huge crush on walks past the window and sees me sitting inside eating a sandwich. She comes in and laughs and starts talking about her amazing life and I dont say a word for a while and I just believe in miracles. Was it the law of attraction? Did my mind summon her to walk past that window? Damn, I fall in love so easily…and then I get broken hearted again and again….and then I have to fight the part of me that wants to get really drunk and high. I am so used to it. I have a feeling that very few people will read this. And maybe you are the one that I would not want reading this in the first place. But that is what is so great about the internet. I can put a link to this on Facebook…and then maybe whoever reads it reads it…I can delete it later. I am just enjoying the cathartic nature of this. All artists are writers. I hope that you come to my art exhibit on March 5 at Sweat Records. It starts at 7pm and there are going to be some local Metal bands playing and Kevin Warhaft is going to be performing as Jason Handelsman…it is a script that we are working on. I dont care what anyone says, Kevin Warhaft is a fucking genius. We are working on a screenplay about Metal in Miami, aliens, and Kevin Warhaft as Jason Handelsman like Face/Off. It has no title yet. But man, the shit that has been happening to me lately is only supposed to happen to other people. Every time I get my life back together….and things are going just fine….thats when I get dumped, fired, and its time to start all over again from the bottom. Bring it on, baby. Oh shit….

Filthy South is all about 305, lets be clear on that. But, because of some glitches in the system (mainly a forgotten administrator password), this Miami based website’s main image is a pic of the Brooklyn Bridge. I’ll be honest, I love the Brooklyn Bridge. So, I dug into my own personal files and found video of a site-specific installation that I did back in 2003, called Lungs of Brooklyn Bridge (Breathe New Life). It was for an outdoor sculpture festival in Brooklyn, where I was living at the time. I was in a sludge-metal band called Walrus, and I had this awesome Marshall JCM-800 half stack. I looped some distorted guitar on a delay pedal, got permission from the NY Dept. of Transportation, a couple friends to help me bring all the shit onto the bridge, and that was it. The “sound sculpture” was up for two days, there was a security guard, and lots of people. The sounds in the video were the actual sounds coming out of the amp. The only comment that I remember is some old man screaming in my face that I had ruined his vacation. Maybe there is no such thing as co-inky-dink…

Or more what the fuck is wrong with Handelsman posting this shit?