Archive for July, 2009

Here is the original, with only 1152 views:

It is time for me to request comments, and donations. All that I need is $35 to copyright the CRKDMKS album. I worked hard on that shit.

I have read that book twice. Watch this video of the book’s author, Napolean Hill twitching his fingers whilst lecturing to the modern world. Shit is powerful.

There is a secret to growing rich, patience. Life is a crazy game, and its gonna be over someday. We have a Black President, so I went to join the Navy today. They said that I couldn’t becuase of my 305 tat. “Numbers may be seen as gang related.” When they mentioned the FBI background check, I exited the building. The dude told me that the recession is so bad, military is shutting down their recruitment centers. “Because of the economy, everyone wants to join the military,” he said, “we don’t got no more room.” I figured I would just sign up and they would send me to boot camp in two weeks. Oh well…

I feel weird putting up these videos of me dancing around in my underwear and playing my guitar. I feel like such a loser. I have deleted 6 videos in the past couple of days. Here is the main problem: I can not find work. I am chasing paper in an ever-diminishing circle and I will soon disappear up my own asshole. I went to the Hemmingway House recently to meditate. It is right on the ocean 90 miles from Cuba. It is spiritual, and there are thousands of cats walking around. I wondered how it would feel to be a Nobel Prize winning author holding a gun to my own head. Suicide is not the answer. I do not belong in front of a camera.

Now an interview with Filthy South’s founder and Vice President of Marketing, Azar Alcazar.

Q: What is your definate purpose in life?

AA: To make money being myself. I have no special talents. I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I pray for everything that I get. You want me to dance naked at your bachelorette party? You want me to give you a tour of Miami? You want to go out on a boat? You need me to make some videos of you? Put it up on the website? This website is not about making money, its about having some fun inside the realm of cyberspace. Whatever you need, I can hook it up. That is how I make my money. If I have to stand on a stage naked and swing my twig and berries, thats what I’m going to do. As Biggie said, I’m as good as the best of them and as bad as the worst.

Q: What is the video about?

AA: it is about being a bona-fide chick magnet. People will watch this and hate my guts. Tell me I’m stupid. Whatever. That is what I want. I want millions of people to watch this video and tell me how stupid I am. The goal of course, a restaurant, and eventually my own Graceland Never Land. Are you ready to fall in love again? Have you ever felt that you are doing the exact same thing everyday? Do you eat pussy?

Q: Are you asking me if I eat pussy?

AA: Eating pussy is money. That would be the best way for me to make money. That is what this video is about. The nutrients.

This video is about personal liberation, and I hope at least 20 people watch it. Look at my chest, and notice the disposition. I used to tell people that the aliens did this to me when I was abducted. The truth is, I don’t realy know how to explain it. I was born in the 70’s and they did some ghetto plastic surgery on me.

The “studio” where I filmed this is in 305, and it is an abandonded bldg. with electricity. The people that live nearby don’t seem to care. It is a trailer park that they were trying to gentrify, but then the recession hit and nobody can pay their mortgages and squatters like me move in….Rent Free.

Thats me. I haven’t paid rent in over five years. I just work hard for people, so that I can live with them and eat all their hummus….This video caused a stir in the PC community, so I deleted it. But I just watched it again, and I really like it. I took nude pics of an 18 year old at the Double Tree Hotel. The pics were stolen by a local promoter, who knows who he is. Let him enjoy the pics that he beats off to on a nightly basis.

Listen to his lyrics in this collabo with Chris Brown. Its all about butt fucking and butt fucking and fucking butt and sucking clit and pink anus shit. Chris Brown punched Her in the face, right? Or was that all just some media bullshit, like this shit. I want to punch Lil Wayne in the face. I want Lil Wayne to punch me. I want to step into the octagon ring with Weezy F. Baby. I want to take home one of his dreadlocks and feed it to my bunny rabbit.

I made this video for Prunk TV, but only made $30! I spent all that time shooting and editing this video for $30? Well, Drew Sidora is back in Miami for a week or so, and we are about to make that million dollar movie. She is an awesome actress, has a beautiful voice, and she is hotter than a young Whitney Houston. Wait! Is that offensive? Whitney was the shit when I was growin up. So what? She smoked some crack with her husband Bobby Brown. What? I am going to play guitar while Drew Sidora sings. It is coming to a venue near you (if you are in Miami, that is). Now watch this shit:

Of Crack. Lol. I mean, LOL!!! This is really my vision of a movie in cyberspace. 2 minutes is equal to 2 hours online. A movie theater costs 10 bucks, its got A/C, and you paid $6 for a bucket of Twizzlers. I have always wanted to be a film maker or something. Alfred Hitchcock is dead. He never got to experience Cyberspace. He was a master of suspense. Hitchcock inspired my first movie on You Tube. It is the shower scene from Psycho, in a contemporary setting. This is my first movie in cyberspace. It is a real movie. Check out this blog where I, Jason Handelsman, compare David Lynch to a crack smoking Steven Spielberg.

I met Frank at Baptist Hospital in Kendall on day. We smoked a blunt by the lake and made this video. He is one of my favorite artists. He is like Chuck Close. Do you know what I am saying? His art work is intense. Please watch the video, and thank the Lord above for what you have. This is called Asset Based Thinking, it is what I am trying to accomplish. I am almost broke again, and that means that I will once again be “homeless.” Its really not that big of a deal. You learn about yourself when you have nothing and nobody helps. Your pride won’t let you ask. Your libido is ready to murder some old lady with a nice purse. Your arms spray paint swastikas on elementary schools. Your teeth want to be covered in gold and diamonds.

That dude is an asshole. I have known Bang Bang for almost a decade. I used to sleep in Kennedy Park. Sometimes Bang Bang would come out and give me a crack rock for free. The woman at the end of this Filthy South video got raped by 12 men.

The summer breeze gives me bad acne as I smoke mosquito wings through a rose. I saw Beamer sitting in front of Publix. Beamer is the one sitting next to me in the car here. I don’t know how long it will be before people start reading Filthy South and watching the videos and enjoying this shit. This is just me, lovely lady. I am a capatilist without capital, a hipster crack head, a person with the winning edge.

You have to watch this vlog about “>Bang Bang.

Just try drinking Natural Ice with a straw. It makes the hot as ass Miami summer heat turn into a cool green ice pop with chocolate on top. I once stuck a popsicle up my ass.